Tag Archives: dark humor

Restless

9 Jul

Rest-less:

Adjective

  1. (of a person or animal) Unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom.
  2. Offering no physical or emotional rest; involving constant activity or motion: “a restless night”.IMG_20130709_225934

Have you ever had an evening when your thoughts are running in rapid motion–jumping from one subject to another to another (mainly regarding things over which you have no control)? Tonight I’m thinking about the fact that I only know two people who would ever consider being bridesmaids in my future wedding, for which there is no date, no engagement, no groom. And after that, I researched “squat challenges” online for longer than any person should–since the gals at work briefly discussed them today. After that, I texted my guy friend for over half an hour regarding the suits he wears to work, what color they are, how often he has to dry clean them and how lucky I am that I never ever have to wear a suit to my office.  Then I wondered if I am any less successful for not being required to wear a suit on a daily basis. After that, I got upset about the fact that all my friends in Rhode Island are moving away from the Northeast, and that I haven’t made a steep enough effort to see them in the three years since I graduated college. Then, I sank infinitely deeper into melancholy after realizing what I haven’t accomplished in three years.

I don’t understand why my brain only does this when I should be sleeping or preparing my things for work tomorrow or really doing anything else that does not entail unrequited, unfounded pity for oneself. If this were a twitter status, it would include the hashtag “#firstworldproblems,” because, quite frankly, nobody cares. I don’t even care–in that, I wish no longer to care, but for some reason I still do.

My brain also jumps into this hyperactive mode, where it tries to instantaneously solve all of problems at hand (real or fictional) regardless of the time. Hello insomnia. Self-absorption is really unflattering. I should work on that…

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